The Art of Awkward

As I’ve said before, I can’t parallel park (am slowly learning!). I was reminded of this because Gotham Gal had a great blog post on Things Everybody Should Know How To Do and parallel parking was on that. My mom was big on practical skills as well and did her best to instill those in us before we left for college. “Elaine, what are you going to do when you get to college and can’t do laundry?” My Dad was a lot less worried about practical life skills. “Oh honey, you’re not going to take an art appreciation class? What will you talk about at cocktail parties?” I’m sure Dad would be happy to know I’m keeping up on my cultural skills more than the real world skills.

I’m still missing some (a lot) of those real world skills and am hoping to get in some during my upcoming month of funemployment before I leave for Europe. Some from Gotham Gal’s list and some I just need to know. These are life skills I’m missing that I should know:

• Learn to change a tire
• Roast a chicken (I have no idea how to roast a chicken. Do I need special tools?)
• Parallel park
• Open a bottle of wine without a fancy cork
• Learn CPR (my last class was in college)
• Learn to hem pants
• Properly iron (I can iron. But not really well)
• Properly use a hammer and nails (every single picture in my apt is crooked)
• Make a pie crust
• Grill a steak
• Take a good picture

She has waltzing on her list. No way I’m putting waltzing on my list. It’s a skill I really need but have no desire to gain.

If August was focused on being a month of culture and non-stop fun, September is going to be decidely less so. September’s theme is going to be organization. As you can imagine, I can muster no true enthusiasm for September. As you can imagine, this is a decidely boring blog post. But…if I bore you and write it out, it guarantees that I am somewhat more accountable for it. Somewhat. Pretty much September means making responsible choices. But if I add some exclamation points and the word fun to it, maybe it won’t be so bad. Plus, I have Jackie’s visit to look forward to the last week of September.

Sept. 6 – Laundry fun! Clean the inside of my car and trunk fun!

Sept. 8 – Clean my apt fun!

Sept. 12 – Clean out a bunch of boxes out of my storage unit fun! Organize my mail fun!

Sept. 13 – Clean my closet and go to good will fun!

Sept. 19 – Take all my boxes to my storage unit fun!

Sept. 20 – Get organized financially fun!

My new friend, the Jungle Nymph

At the end of July, I set out to make August a month of culture. A way to cram in those last precious moments of summer before the weather changes. Too spend a little less time networking and more time hanging with people I already know. How’d I do?

I made my first trip to the Central City Opera to see Lucia di Lammermoor. After years of saying, “I should go to CU Boulder’s Shakespeare festival,” I went and saw Hamlet at the Shakespeare Festival. I attended (well…more like skimmed) the First Friday Art Walk on Santa Fe. I had a great time at Kings of Leon at Red Rocks. I saw a Nude Descending a Staircase at the Philadelphia Art Museum. I was bored out of my gourd at the Franklin Institute. And I made friends with jungle nymphs at Philadelphia’s Science Museum.

I didn’t make it the Arctic Caps & Absinthe or Denver Botanic Gardens, but I’m still hoping to make it before the leaves fall down.

It’s been three weeks since I’ve had my last cup of coffee. If I had to pick my unhealthiest habit, that would be it followed closely by my consumption of refined sugar. At some point, I probably would have sold you my liver for a cup of coffee. But the reality is that my reliance on hot water and ground up coffee beans is more in my head than anything. Feeling deprived of my favorite substance made me melancholy, but when I took Kristy’s advice, I thought about looking at it from a different perspective. Rather giving up the love of my life, I could look at it from the perspective of becoming a green tea drinker. Green tea is full of antioxidants and other stuff aimed at keeping you healthy. But you know what would make green tea taste better? Coffee. Preferably from Lavazza or Novo.

I like the three week increment. I mean, what’s the big deal of giving up something for three weeks? So to up the ante, I’m ridding myself of my next worst habit. Refined, glorious sugar. Even if it’s free or someone’s birthday, I’m saying no thank you! Instead, I’m going to replace sugary treats of goodness, and fill my plate full of fruit. You know what makes fruit taste better? Sugar. But that is neither here nor there.

So cheers to three more weeks of nurturing better habits for myself.

My former college roommate Kristy feels as passionate about her broccoli as I do about clothes, which is to say…deeply. She has found her passion in wellness. We used to refer to her as Kristy of the Forest. In a state (Indiana) where each year the equivalent of the victims of Titanic dies from smoking related deaths, she has her work cut out for her.

I am addicted to refined sugar. Coupled with general laziness, this is problematic. But several of her blog posts have me thinking about my habits. She had a brilliant post on habits and on slowly focusing on making changes. Her post on running younger for longer made me contemplate what fuel I’m putting into my body. So in July, my co-workers and I came up with the challenge to not eat out for lunch during the entire month of July. So far we’ve only had three slip ups, which considering the fact we used to eat out every day is a significant improvement.

Then I made the challenge to eat my five fruit & veggie servings a day. Not even close. But my intake is significantly increased, and I’m slowly nurturing the good habits. Next up on the slate is to cut out my afternoon caffeine hit with a more sustainable source of energy, protein!

I’m putting it out on the blog so Tara can ask me how my habits are growing (which hopefully goes better than my Bolder Boulder training).

I used to make New Year’s resolutions that were pretty typical. Lose weight, show up to places on time and be a nicer person. Stuff like that. And like most typical resolutions, I lost steam around February. Two years ago, I made the best New Year’s resolution I’ve ever made – to do something out of my comfort zone each month. As an uncoordinated introvert, thankfully that includes a lot of territory. I didn’t even come close to doing something each month, but I did manage to do 12 things that were pretty terrifying for me. I sang karoke for the first time, I went on a blind date, I ran the Wash Park Turkey Trot, I took a belly dancing class, I went to a movie by myself, I showed up at a Yelp! event where I knew no one, I signed up for fitness bootcamp, I went and ate at a restaurant by myself and some other things I can’t remember now. And for the finale, I went to New York by myself in December. I booked the trip on a Wednesday and left on a Friday. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Doing all of those activities alone was great preparation for taking a trip. I went to restaurants by myself, I went to the opera by myself and I managed to navigate around a city and not get lost or mugged. By myself.

I’d like to have another year like 2007, so I’ve made the same New Year’s Resolution this year. To do something that scares the hell out of me each month (or at least 12 things by the end of the year). Unfortunately to my discredit, I have a lot of left over New Year’s Resolutions from last year. So to throw it in the mix, I’d also like to achieve the following: visit 12 more breweries, visit a new mountain town like Crested Butte, learn to parallel park, take a roadtrip by myself, learn to sew, run the Boulder Bolder, buy somewhere to live, go to SXSW, go to Europe, read 25 of the Pulitizer Prize fiction novels, take more cooking classes and go to the Santa Fe Opera. Oh and maybe back to New York. I don’t have to accomplish everything on that list, but I’d like to review this blog post in December and feel like I’ve accomplished something. That I can look back and not feel like I wasted an entire year like I did with 2008.