My memories of Vienna, Austria, will always have a Christmas-y feel. As I’ve stated earlier, I’m of the bahhumbug variety when it comes to the holidays. Too many memories of buying crap that people don’t need at the Cherry Creek Mall. I don’t recall ever being the type of girl stringing Christmas lights whilst singing Christmas carols. And after my parents passed away, Christmas just became a day to get through instead of a day to look forward too.

I wish I could describe how Vienna is making me feel towards Christmas. Vienna is absolutely magical when it comes to the holidays. It’s straight out of the movies like The Holiday and Love Actually but with less Jude Law and Hugh Grant, and more schnitzel and strudel.

Schloss Schlonnbrunn, the summer residence of the Habsburgs, is done up for Christmas. There is a ginormous Christmas tree strung up with lights that have Christmas carolers with a Ken doll look alike leading the charge. They sing Silent Night and charming Austrian carols. Thankfully, these carolers don’t sing, “Grandmother got run over by a reindeer.” The previous night, I saw young teenage boys singing Christmas carols, and I wanted to scream out, “Edelweiss, sing Edelweiss.” As if they were the Beatles about to play, but I bit my tongue.

Schloss Schlonnbrunn is also place of the most incredible Christmas market I’ve ever seen. Vendors sell warm, spicy wine called punsch that smells exactly how Christmas should, especially if you prefer a boozy holiday like I do. We eat a Marzipan Kugelsomething something, which is dough, some kind of chocolate mousse and marzipan rolled in sugar and cinnamon. We eat gnocchi covered in sauce, leeks and ham that is incredibly savory. And if you’re not looking to gain the European 15, there are Christmas crafts for purchase. And not knitted toilet seat covers, but actual artisanal craftmanship.

The Habsburgs lived large among the European royalty, like the Jay Zs of European royalty. Their crown jewels are breathtaking and are second only to Britain’s. What always cracks me is when they talk about missing pieces that they have no idea what happened to. I mean sure, so far, I’ve lost a hat, all of my jewelry, two pairs of gloves, an amazing umbrella, several pairs of socks, my factial soap, a scarf, broken a camera and netbook. In fact, my former co-workers Lauren and Melissa have a betting pool on how much stuff I’ll lose. But I haven’t lost say…a 100-plus-carat diamond. I mean, where do those exactly go?

Vienna is known for its music, and one of the highlights is the ability to purchase opera tickets for 4 Euro. I can’t purchase a Big Mac for that price, but I can purchase premiere tickets to Macbeth. It’s standing room only so the charm wears off by intermission. I’m sitting/standing next to an Australian, and we decide to leave early and go get schnitzl.

Of all the Christmas lights so far, Vienna’s are my favorite. I still can’t really get into Christmas music, so I listen to the holiday spirit of Warren G’s Regulate one of the nights walking around.

“16 in the clip, and one in the hole. Nate Dogg is about to turn somebody turn cold. Now they’re dropping and yelling. It’s a tad bit late. Nate Dogg and Warren G had to regulate…”

And as I stare open mouthed at all the amazing Christmas lights in the streets after drinking, one of my Canadian drinking partners asks, “So you have seen Christmas lights before, right? RIGHT?”

Happy Holidays, Regulators. Mount up. You’ve got to be handy with the steel if you know what I mean.